Working Through Conflicts
Students learn to use a structured conflict process independently without adult facilitation, describe what the other person might have wanted or needed in the conflict, negotiate a solution that both parties genuinely accept, identify one thing they could have done differently to prevent or reduce the conflict, and check in with the other person after resolution to make sure they both feel okay.
Lesson Overview
What students will be able to do after this lesson: Students will be able to use a four-step conflict process independently — cooling down, sharing their side, hearing the other person’s side, and finding middle ground — and check in afterward to make sure both people are genuinely okay.
Skill segments at a glance:
| Segment | Segment name | Primary standards |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Conflict Process and Understanding Their Side | RS-CFR-3-1 · RS-CFR-3-2 |
| 2 | Finding a Real Solution and What I Could Have Done | RS-CFR-3-3 · RS-CFR-3-4 |
| 3 | The Check-In After | RS-CFR-3-5 |
Supporting standards reinforced:
| Code | Why it connects |
|---|---|
| SoA-EMP-3-2 | Perspective-taking is woven into every step — students actively consider the other person’s experience in all three segments, especially in Step 3 of the conflict process. |
| RS-COM-3-2 | Clear, respectful communication is the vehicle for every step — students practice saying what they mean and listening for what the other person means throughout the lesson. |
Key Vocabulary
- Conflict — A disagreement between two people about what they want, need, or think is fair.
- Middle ground — A solution that gives something real to both people — not just one person getting everything they want.
- Perspective — The way something looks or feels from where you’re standing — what you noticed, what you felt, what mattered to you.
- Check-in — A short conversation after a conflict to make sure both people truly feel okay about how it ended.
Materials
- Whiteboard or chart paper and markers
- Before the week begins: Post your unit anchor chart and I Can Statement where students can see them — you’ll reference both throughout the week.
How this lesson is structured: Each skill segment below has an I Do (teacher models the skill with a realistic scenario) and a We Do (class practices together with your guidance). Independent practice — the You Do — lives in the practice resources that go alongside this lesson.
What Students Need Before This Lesson
- What’s inside
- What students should already be able to do
- Helpful to have in place
- 3 quick set-ups before the I DoConflict doesn’t only mean a fight · Working through a conflict is not the same as giving in · Hearing their side doesn’t mean agreeing with them
- Rescue planIf students are significantly behind
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
Introducing the Skill
- What’s inside
- Opening hook
- What we’re learning
- Why it matters
- Core sentence frameThe frame students use all week
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
The Conflict Process and Understanding Their Side
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsTextbook example: the four steps done cleanly · Wrong version → fix: skipping Step 3 and going straight to a solution · Non-conflict scenario: the process used in an ordinary planning moment · Deepening Step 3: naming what they needed, not just what they said
- We do: 4 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
Finding a Real Solution and What I Could Have Done
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsWhat real middle ground looks like vs. one person caving · Wrong version → fix: a solution that sounds fair but isn’t · Non-conflict scenario: finding middle ground in a low-stakes planning moment · What I could have done differently (RS-CFR-3-4)
- We do: 4 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
The Check-In After
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsTextbook example: a genuine check-in that finds something still there · Wrong version → fix: assuming silence means everything is fine · Non-conflict scenario: a check-in used in an ordinary friendship moment · What a real check-in sounds like vs. a dismissive one
- We do: 3 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
Closing the Week
- What’s inside
- 3 partner-share roundsOne for each segment, with the frame students say together
- Round 1 — Conflict process and perspective-taking
- Round 2 — Finding solutions and self-reflection
- Round 3 — Checking in after
- Land the key idea
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
Practice for every skill segment
Each lesson comes with independent practice — the “you do” — for each of its 3 skill segments, in print and digital.
Printable practice
Ready-to-copy practice pages for each segment.
- View and print in your browser
- Answer keys for quick checking
Digital activities
Share one link — students open it on any device, and you see their answers.
- Works on Chromebooks, tablets and phones
- Students just type their name to start
While you wait: from the SEL Resource Library
Relationship Skills resources for Grade 3, ready to use today.
