Making and Keeping Friendships
Students navigate shifts in their friend group without damaging existing friendships. They maintain trust with two or more friends simultaneously, keeping confidences and following through consistently. They navigate loyalty tensions by choosing responses that preserve relationships. They initiate full friendship repairs after conflict using a three-part structure. They reflect on what makes friendships healthy and show two specific healthy behaviors in current friendships.
Lesson Overview
What students will be able to do after this lesson: Students will be able to navigate friendship changes and loyalty tensions, maintain trust across multiple friendships simultaneously, repair a damaged friendship using a three-part structure, and name two specific observable behaviors that make their own friendships healthy.
Skill segments at a glance:
| Segment | Segment name | Primary standards |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Navigating Friendship Changes | RS-FRD-4-1 · RS-FRD-4-2 |
| 2 | Handling Loyalty Tensions | RS-FRD-4-3 |
| 3 | Repairing and Reflecting on Friendships | RS-FRD-4-4 · RS-FRD-4-5 |
Supporting standards reinforced:
| Code | Why it connects |
|---|---|
| RS-COM-4-4 | Assertive communication — naming your position clearly and kindly — is the vehicle for loyalty tension responses and friendship repairs |
| SoA-EMP-4-1 | Understanding a friend’s perspective is the foundation for navigating loyalty tensions without betraying either relationship |
| RS-CFR-4-1 | Cooling down before attempting resolution is the precondition for a successful three-part repair in Segment 3 |
Key Vocabulary
- Trust — when someone can count on you to do what you said, and to keep private what they shared with you
- Loyalty tension — when two people you care about are in conflict, and you’re pulled in different directions
- Friendship repair — the process of working to fix a friendship after something serious went wrong
- Healthy friendship — a friendship where both people feel safe, respected, and genuinely cared for — recognizable not just by how it feels, but by specific actions you can observe: what each person actually does, consistently, for the other
Materials
- Whiteboard or chart paper and markers (for the core sentence frame and the three-part repair structure in Segment 3)
- Before the week begins: Post your unit anchor chart and I Can Statement where students can see them — you’ll reference both throughout the week.
How this lesson is structured: Each skill segment below has an I Do (teacher models the skill with a realistic scenario) and a We Do (class practices together with your guidance). Independent practice — the You Do — lives in the practice resources that go alongside this lesson.
What Students Need Before This Lesson
- What’s inside
- What students should already be able to do
- Helpful to have in place
- 5 quick set-ups before the I DoActive navigation vs. just “going with the flow” · Keeping confidences across multiple friendships · Loyalty tension ≠ picking a side · Friendship repair ≠ “I’m sorry” · Specific observable behavior ≠ abstract quality
- Rescue planIf students are significantly behind
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Introducing the Skill
- What’s inside
- Opening hook
- What we’re learning
- Why it matters
- Core sentence frameThe frame students use all week
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Navigating Friendship Changes
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsTextbook example: navigating a group shift without damage (FRD-4-1) · Wrong version → fix: passive drift that damages a friendship (FRD-4-1) · Textbook example: keeping a confidence across multiple friendships (FRD-4-2) · Wrong version → fix: sharing between friendships because “we all know each other” (FRD-4-2)
- We do: 4 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Handling Loyalty Tensions
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsTextbook example: two friends in conflict, pulled to choose sides (FRD-4-3) · Wrong version → fix: picking a side (FRD-4-3) · Secret tension: asked directly about something shared in confidence (FRD-4-3) · Exclusion pressure: asked to leave someone out (FRD-4-3)
- We do: 4 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Repairing and Reflecting on Friendships
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsTextbook example: a full three-part friendship repair (FRD-4-4) · Wrong version → fix: “sorry” is not a repair (FRD-4-4) · Textbook example: naming what makes a friendship healthy with specific behaviors (FRD-4-5) · Wrong version → fix: abstract quality vs. specific observable behavior (FRD-4-5)
- We do: 4 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Closing the Week
- What’s inside
- 3 partner-share roundsOne for each segment, with the frame students say together
- Closing prompt
- Land the key idea
- Connect to daily life
- Optional — Quick check-in
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Practice for every skill segment
Each lesson comes with independent practice — the “you do” — for each of its 3 skill segments, in print and digital.
Printable practice
Ready-to-copy practice pages for each segment.
- View and print in your browser
- Answer keys for quick checking
Digital activities
Share one link — students open it on any device, and you see their answers.
- Works on Chromebooks, tablets and phones
- Students just type their name to start
While you wait: from the SEL Resource Library
Relationship Skills resources for Grade 4, ready to use today.
