Responding to Bullying
Students navigate complex bystander situations where the bully might be a friend or where bystanders face social pressure. Students explain how group behavior enables bullying and describe how withdrawing that approval changes the dynamic. They identify the most appropriate upstander action for different bullying scenarios. They support a bullied peer over time through consistent check-ins. They develop a personal upstander plan for three likely scenarios.
Lesson Overview
What students will be able to do after this lesson: Students will be able to choose the most appropriate upstander action for complex bullying situations — including when the person doing the bullying is a friend or when group pressure is involved — explain how group behavior enables bullying, support a targeted peer over time, and make a personal upstander plan for three likely scenarios.
Skill segments at a glance:
| Segment | Segment name | Primary standards |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | When Upstander Action Costs You Something | RS-BUL-4-1 · RS-BUL-4-2 |
| 2 | Matching Your Response to the Type | RS-BUL-4-3 |
| 3 | Being a Sustained Supporter — With a Plan | RS-BUL-4-4 · RS-BUL-4-5 |
Supporting standards reinforced:
| Code | Why it connects |
|---|---|
| RS-BDR-4-3 | Group peer pressure is the central mechanism in Segment 1 — how bystander participation amplifies bullying and how individual withdrawal disrupts it |
| SoA-INC-4-1 | Sustained support in Segment 3 requires students to take deliberate actions that create belonging for a peer who has been excluded or targeted |
| SM-REG-4-2 | Choosing the right upstander response in Segment 2 requires students to match the intensity and method of their response to the specific features of the situation |
Key Vocabulary
- Upstander — someone who sees bullying and takes action, rather than watching without doing anything
- Bystander — someone who sees bullying but does not act
- Relational bullying — bullying that damages someone’s friendships or social standing — for example, spreading rumors, deliberately leaving someone out, or turning others against them
- Cyberbullying — bullying that happens through technology — for example, hurtful messages, posts, or images sent online or over text
- Social cost — something you risk losing — such as a friendship, group approval, or social status — when you choose to do the right thing
- Sustained support — showing up for someone consistently over time, not just in the moment when bullying happens
- Trusted adult — a specific adult at school or home you know well, trust, and would go to with something serious — named in advance as part of your upstander plan
Materials
- Whiteboard or chart paper + markers
- Three-column chart to create during Segment 2 I Do: Physical Bullying | Relational Bullying | Cyberbullying
- Before the week begins: Post your unit anchor chart and I Can Statement where students can see them — you’ll reference both throughout the week.
How this lesson is structured: Each skill segment below has an I Do (teacher models the skill with a realistic scenario) and a We Do (class practices together with your guidance). Independent practice — the You Do — lives in the practice resources that go alongside this lesson.
What Students Need Before This Lesson
- What’s inside
- What students should already be able to do
- Helpful to have in place
- 3 quick set-ups before the I DoWhat makes Grade 4 bullying situations harder · Watching isn’t neutral · Different types of bullying need different responses
- Rescue planIf students are significantly behind
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Introducing the Skill
- What’s inside
- Opening hook
- What we’re learning
- Why it matters
- Core sentence frameThe frame students use all week
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
When Upstander Action Costs You Something
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsThe hard case: when your friend is the person doing the bullying · Wrong version → fix: freezing because of the social cost · The crowd mechanism: how watching amplifies bullying · Non-conflict: practicing the decision before the moment arrives
- We do: 4 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Matching Your Response to the Type
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsPhysical bullying: direct, in-person, visible · Relational bullying: social, often invisible to adults, different response · Cyberbullying: online, amplifiable, different rules apply · Wrong version → fix: using the same response for all three types
- We do: 3 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Being a Sustained Supporter — With a Plan
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsSustained support: what it looks like over time · Wrong version → fix: “one and done” · Personal upstander plan: the three elements · Non-conflict/positive: making the plan when nothing is wrong
- We do: 3 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Closing the Week
- What’s inside
- 3 partner-share roundsOne for each segment, with the frame students say together
- Closing prompt
- Land the key idea
- Connect to daily life
- Optional — Quick check-in
This section opens when Grade 4 launches.
Practice for every skill segment
Each lesson comes with independent practice — the “you do” — for each of its 3 skill segments, in print and digital.
Printable practice
Ready-to-copy practice pages for each segment.
- View and print in your browser
- Answer keys for quick checking
Digital activities
Share one link — students open it on any device, and you see their answers.
- Works on Chromebooks, tablets and phones
- Students just type their name to start
While you wait: from the SEL Resource Library
Relationship Skills resources for Grade 4, ready to use today.
