My Personal Calming Toolkit
Students learn to name go-to strategies for three different intensity levels, independently choose the right tool for intensity and setting, use strategies without adult prompting when feelings rise, name the specific next step after calming down, rate whether a strategy worked and explain why, and plan which strategy to use before a high-trigger moment.
Lesson Overview
What students will be able to do after this lesson: Students will be able to name differentiated calming strategies for three intensity levels, independently select and use a strategy that fits both the intensity and their setting, return to a task with a specific next step named, rate whether their strategy worked with observable evidence, and pre-plan a strategy for a high-trigger situation before it happens.
Skill segments at a glance:
| Segment | Segment name | Primary standards |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Building My Toolkit by Intensity Level | SM-REG-3-1 · SM-REG-3-2 |
| 2 | Using My Toolkit and Coming Back | SM-REG-3-3 · SM-REG-3-4 |
| 3 | Checking and Planning Ahead | SM-REG-3-5 · SM-REG-3-6 |
Supporting standards reinforced:
| Code | Why it connects |
|---|---|
| SA-EMO-3-1 | Using a precise feeling word — not just “uncomfortable” — is what lets a student match the right tool to the right intensity level. The more accurate the emotional label, the better the toolkit choice. |
| SA-EMO-3-5 | Identifying trigger patterns (SM-REG-3-6) uses the same skill as recognizing which situations predictably bring certain feelings. Students who can name a trigger for SA-EMO-3-5 already have the raw material for pre-planning their calming strategy. |
Key Vocabulary
- intensity level — how big or strong a feeling is in this moment; in this lesson we use three levels: calm, medium, and big
- strategy — something specific you do — with your body, your breath, or your attention — to help you work through a feeling; also called a tool
- setting — where you are and what’s happening around you; the setting affects which strategies are actually usable in that moment
- trigger — a situation that predictably starts a feeling rising for you; knowing your triggers lets you plan ahead
- come back — returning to the task you were doing after using a strategy — with a specific, named next move in mind
Materials
- Whiteboard or chart paper and markers
- Before the week begins: Post your unit anchor chart and I Can Statement where students can see them — you’ll reference both throughout the week.
- Optional: small index cards or strips of paper for students to build personal toolkit lists during Segment 1 (no prep needed — plain paper works fine)
How this lesson is structured: Each skill segment below has an I Do (teacher models the skill with a realistic scenario) and a We Do (class practices together with your guidance). Independent practice — the You Do — lives in the practice resources that go alongside this lesson.
What Students Need Before This Lesson
- What’s inside
- What students should already be able to do
- Helpful to have in place
- 3 quick set-ups before the I DoYour toolkit is personal — same feeling, different tools · The same tool doesn’t work in every setting · “On your own” means before you’re asked — not alone forever
- Rescue planIf students are significantly behind
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
Introducing the Skill
- What’s inside
- Opening hook
- What we’re learning
- Why it matters
- Core sentence frameThe frame students use all week
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
Building My Toolkit by Intensity Level
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsTextbook example: a differentiated personal toolkit · Wrong version → fix: the same tool for all three levels · Setting constraint: same intensity, different settings · Non-conflict positive: noticing a calm state and naming what’s sustaining it
- We do: 5 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
Using My Toolkit and Coming Back
- What’s inside
- I do: 4 teacher modelsTextbook example: catching it early and using the tool independently · Wrong version → fix: waiting until escalated vs. catching early · Specific next step vs. vague re-sitting · Non-conflict positive: using a tool in a medium-pressure moment before a presentation
- We do: 5 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
Checking and Planning Ahead
- What’s inside
- I do: 3 teacher modelsTextbook example: rating with observable evidence · Wrong version → fix: vague rating vs. observable evidence · Pre-planning: identifying a real trigger and naming a specific strategy
- We do: 5 guided scenariosWith sentence frames, pacing notes and what to watch for
- Coaching in the momentWhat to say when students get stuck
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
Closing the Week
- What’s inside
- 3 partner-share roundsOne for each segment, with the frame students say together
- Closing prompt
- Round 1 — Segment 1
- Round 2 — Segment 2
- Round 3 — Segment 3
This section opens when Grade 3 launches.
Practice for every skill segment
Each lesson comes with independent practice — the “you do” — for each of its 3 skill segments, in print and digital.
Printable practice
Ready-to-copy practice pages for each segment.
- View and print in your browser
- Answer keys for quick checking
Digital activities
Share one link — students open it on any device, and you see their answers.
- Works on Chromebooks, tablets and phones
- Students just type their name to start
While you wait: from the SEL Resource Library
Self-Management resources for Grade 3, ready to use today.
